This Joke was Never Going to be Funny
by Ankoku21
Summary: When one of Sirius's pranks goes horribly wrong, his friendship with Remus is put to the test as he tries to put things right again. Three part story about the prank. Contains mild Wolfstar which could be taken as platonic.


I don't own Harry Potter or its characters, they belong to JK Rowling. Please enjoy my little story

* * *

Severus Snape watched silently as James Potter and his little gang huddled together, whispering to each other, sometimes checking that no-one could hear them. They were plotting something, he knew it. They were _always _plotting something.

It was something to do with Lupin, it had to be. Once a month, the prefect vanished, and had done since their first year at Hogwarts, and it was all a bit too suspicious for Severus' liking. Lupin would claim that his mother was ill and he had to return home, but that just didn't make sense. He would vanish for a day and return on the following, and given that it took a train eight hours to get from Scotland to Kent, where Lupin's family lived, Severus highly doubted that one day would be enough time for Lupin to tend to his "ailing" mother.

Potter and his friends were up to something and, despite his many failed attempts in the past, this time he was determined to get to the bottom of things.

-.-.-.-

Three days later, surprise surprise, Lupin was missing from the Great Hall at breakfast. Severus watched from the Slytherin table as Potter, Black and Pettigrew caused their usual scene over at the Gryffindor table, with Potter showing off in front of Lily like he always did. Severus hated the way that Potter always forced himself on her like that. It was all thanks to Potter and his stupid showing off that Lily had broken off her friendship with Severus earlier in the year. It was all Potter's fault.

Not feeling remotely hungry anymore, Severus got up from the table and marched out of the Great Hall, robes billowing behind him as he left.

-.-.-.-

Sirius Black was getting very bored. It was three o'clock and with no Remus around to keep him entertained, the day had quickly become extremely dull. He and James had already ended up getting a detention from Professor Kettleburn for trying to hex Snape during Care of Magical Creatures. On the plus side, though, Snape had retaliated with a curse of his own and landed himself a detention as well.

However, now it was double Potions, which provided no relief to his boredom, so he was instead counting down until half past seven when his detention would end and he, James and Peter could sneak out under James' cloak and join Remus in the Shrieking Shack.

Another source of irritation that was adding considerably to Sirius' already agitated mood was Severus Snape. The greasy haired slimeball was being even nosier today. He was probably trying, as he always did at this time of the month, to find out where Remus was and what he was doing.

To be honest, Sirius actually wished Snape _would_ work out what was going on, maybe Remus would maul him and finally put and end to his incessant snooping.

The thought brought a wicked smirk to Sirius' lips. Now that would be an amusing sight.

-.-.-.-

As the bell rang to signal the end of the day, Sirius, James and Severus found themselves mucking out the Hippogryphs for Professor Kettleburn. Or rather, _Severus _was mucking out the Hippogryphs, James and Sirius had simply bewitched their pitchforks to do the work for them and were now doing next to nothing in the way of productive work. Oh well, it gave Severus a chance to watch the two and try to find out what they were up to.

After about an hour and a half, Professor Kettleburn arrived and said they were free to go before leaving himself.

'You go on ahead,' Sirius said to James. 'Go get the you-know-what and I'll meet you in the dormitory.'

'Alright, come on then, Peter,' James nodded, glancing over at Snape. 'Don't bother going easy on him, Sirius.'

Sirius waited until James and Peter had left before striding over to Snape and dropping his pitchfork on the floor with a loud crash, causing the disgusting weasel to jump about a foot in the air.

'Sorry, Snivellus, did I scare you?' Sirius asked, coldly.

'Go away, Black,' Snape spat back.

'Oh, so you spy on us all day and now you want me to leave?'

'I wasn't spying!'

'Yes you were, you disgusting little insect,' Sirius snarled. 'Just like you always do! Look, if you want to know about Remus so badly, I'll tell you. Go to the Whomping Willow, get a big stick, then poke the knot in the trunk. You do that, Snivellus, and you'll find out everything.'

'And why would I believe you?' Snape demanded. 'You'd never tell me the truth, I'm not an idiot, Black.'

'Well, you certainly fooled me,' Sirius replied. 'Believe me or don't, I don't care.'

With that, Sirius turned on his heel and began heading back to the castle, leaving Snape alone to contemplate what he'd said.

-.-.-.-

Back in the empty dormitory, James pulled the Invisibility Cloak out of his trunk while Peter sat cross-legged on the former's bed, watching him silently. James glanced up at him, giving him a quick grin.

'You're very quiet today, Wormtail,' he remarked. 'What's wrong?'

'You'll laugh at me if I tell you,' Peter said.

'No, I won't,' James protested, with mock indignantly. 'Frankly, Wormtail, I'm hurt that you'd say something like that.'

'Yes you would,' Peter insisted, a small smile creeping onto his face. 'I know what you're like, James, you'll laugh.'

'I thought we were friends, Peter,' James whined. 'Come on, tell me.'

'You never take anything seriously,' Peter complained, the smile vanishing.

'Alright, alright, I'll be serious,' said James, dropping the act and sitting down on the bed next to Peter. 'I promise I won't laugh at you, Pete. You can tell me what's bothering you.'

'... It's just,' Peter shifted uncomfortably, trying to find the right words. 'It just feels like something bad's going to happen. I can't describe it but... it just does. It's like... impending doom or something.'

James, despite his most valiant efforts, didn't quite manage to stifle the snort that words "impending doom" triggered. Unfortunately, Peter heard the noise and glared at his spectacled friend.

'I wasn't laughing!' James said, quickly. 'I promise!'

Peter didn't look at all convinced.

'Don't worry, Wormy,' James said, 'Nothing's going to happen. You're probably just dreading Transfiguration tomorrow.'

Peter opened his mouth to reply but was stopped by the door swinging open and the familiar figure of Sirius joining them on the bed.

'So, how did it go with Snape?' asked James, wanting to hear everything.

'Not much,' Sirius shrugged. 'I just set him up for a brilliant little trick.'

'Elaborate,' James said, intrigued.

'I told him how to get into the Shrieking Shack,' Sirius said, a wicked grin spreading over his face.

'... What?' James's face fell instantly, surely he'd misheard.

'He said he didn't believe me but you know what he's like,' Sirius continued, oblivious to the look of horror on James's face, 'he'll be too curious not to try it and then he'll come face to face with a werewolf. Brilliant, eh?'

'Sirius, you idiot!' James shouted, leaping off the bed and sprinting out of the room.

Peter bit his lip, looking from a very stunned Sirius to the door through which James had just vanished.

-.-.-.-

Once outside the portrait hole, James threw the Invisibility Cloak over himself and raced to the Entrance Hall as fast as he could. The moon would be rising at eight o'clock, which meant he only had about ten minutes before Remus started to transform. This would have been bad at the best of times since he and the others always liked being there when Moony transformed, none of them liked the idea of him going through the horrible process alone. Now, however, it was even worse. Now it meant that there were only ten minutes before Remus would become a creature all too capable and, what was more, _willing_ to kill Snape.

Cursing Sirius's idiocy, James hurtled down the stairs three at a time, springing over the trick step in a mad panic as he suddenly remembered it was there just in time. He had to get to the Whomping Willow before Snape did. He just prayed that Snape hadn't got their already.

After what felt like an eternity but was in reality only about four minutes, James arrived in the Entrance Hall, his lungs burning as he forced himself to carry on running. He staggered as he reached the doors, gasping desperately in an attempt to refill his lungs with oxygen. Now that he had stopped to open the doors, his legs trembled from the build up of lactic acid and he had a stitch stabbing somewhere in his ribs. He managed to push one of the doors open and, his body screaming in protest, set off at a run once again to try and reach the Whomping Willow as fast as he could.


End file.
